sim-boring

ok , so we've got orc slayer, gangster & rockstar covered pretty good.so...where are the vidgames that simulate the other 99.9999% of career choices?

sim middle school teacher? anger mgmt, antics, faculty lounge (cough!) inappropriate crushes.

sim insurance salesman? take peoples money. smile.

sim bureaucracy? power trips, govt. waste, catch 22's.

other ideas?

true evil

Got a voting proxy form for my 401k manager....

This can't be serious.

Tell me I'm misunderstanding that the board recommends voting against "procedures to prevent holding investments in companies that...contribute to genocide or crimes against humanity".

election convergence

On the eve of the election--upsidedownplane commented on the uniqueness of the President Obama'a name.

Check out this convergence.

dispatch from beartown

2008-12-21...10am...WV route 219...25 miles north of Lewisburg: I am on my way back to the east coast for the holidays. Storms were-a-brewing along the high road (north via IN, OH, PA), so I opted for the more temperate southern route (via KY, WV, VA).



In WV, I was fortunate to take heed of one of those glorious rust brown park signs with white lettering: "Beartown State Park, next left".


Just a mile off the road, I thought. Let's have us a looksie.

Beartown is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been in the world.


Beartown is a small park. It took me just 45 minutes to walk around the entire place, all the while tripping over myself, gazing stupidly. But what Beartown lacks in acreage, it makes up in density. Beartown has a concentrated amount of wonderments: decaying rock fragments, covered in moss, topped with ferns, with natural pock marks ranging in size from a fist to a dwarfish cave. Trees covered in fungus, swaying & creaking gently in the breeze. Did I tell you I was a real sucker for fungus on trees?

Once again, I WISH I HAD MY CAMERA (grrrrr)!



Now about that curious state West Virginia....Wedged between KY and VA ("regular" Virginia), WV is known to be rife with poverty and ignorance. It is kind of like America's version of Afghanistan:





(Curiously, WV is even shaped like Afghanistan)

The perennial butt of geographical jokes, WV is typically conjures images of slackjawed, snaggle-toothed cross clutchers and bible thumpers.

Well , I (for one) reject the conventional wisdom of WV. In all things I use a "fact-based" approach. I distill basic precepts by stripping away the unnecessary: Unnecessary ideas, unnecessary relationships, unnecessary sressors, unnecessary consumption.

(Interesting point-of fact: my wife was born in WV. And despite our recent estrangements, I must say she is a wonderful, beautiful and intelligent product of Appalachia.)

So I abandoned the stereotypes today. My opinion of WV was wiped clear. I was struck by the friendliness of all the folks I met. The motel staff, the unnamed dude who gave me a lift to the nearest mom n' pop. And the guy who winched my car out of a ditch (long story, heh).

Additionally, I was moved to tears by the sheer winter beauty of Beartown, Droop Mountain, and the Cranberry Glades.

Country roads, take me home.

on the road

Dear readers,

Today I left work & drove 8 hours due east. Destination: Connecticut. I am psyched to go hiking at national parks for the next few days in Kentucky, West Virginia and also regular Virginia. I am bummed that I DON'T HAVE THE CAMERA, though. Sorry, no pictures for you readers.

I'm spending the night alone in a Motel 6 room in Kentucky on I64.

Bests,

Zeeeman

a worthy goal

A worthy goal would be to shake hands with every single person on the planet. 7 Billion of them. For peoples that find the brisk gripping of the hands to be an offensive gesture, you could make whatever greeting would be culturally appropriate to them.

But....come to think of it...greeting 7 gigs of people individually would probably take more than a couple lifetimes.

1 year

 = 365.4 days

 = 8,769.9 hours 

= 52 thousand minutes

 = 31 million seconds

Assume it takes only 1 second per handshake (which is doubtful, because the handshakee would probably want to chat for a spot). In this case, a 75 year old man would have only greeted 2.4 billion people.

OK...

A slightly less worthy goal would be to "see" every single person on the planet. The person would need access to a supersonic aeroplane:

He or she would need to fly from stadium to stadium around the world:

Local logistics crews would be responsible for continually loading & unloading the masses.That goal might be possible to achieve, but it would be very expensive and would probably take decades. And what about the millions of shut-ins, criminals, mole-men and agoraphobics?

A slightly less worthy goal would be to write a book about such an endeavor.

A slightly less worthy goal would be to blog about writing a book. (loser)

A World Without Filters

My friend Pete is a singularly "bad" artist. He tries to write & record music, yet has no rhythm or sense of pitch. All he has is determination. And balls. He burns CD's indiscriminantly for mere workplace acquaintences. Everybody needs to hear his music. His entire back-catalog, and his latest output ("it's still a rough mix" he states). People literally laugh at Pete behind his back. He is so bad. He has no redeeming musicianship and even less shame. 

My friend Jimi is a "good" artist. He spent most of his formative years guitar-in-hand, crafting his talent. He nearly failed school and had little social life (i.e. he mainly hung out with people like me). But from that chrysalis emerged one of the greatest guitarists I've ever had the pleasure to hear...let alone collaborate with. Yet his great talents flounder unappreciated. His output has been slim. Only rarely does he perform. Rarer still he writes or records (but what gems they are).

Jimi is a fantastic listener. He is very sensitive to cultural filters.   I think that sometimes his well-filtered ears guide him, but mostly they paralyze him, and keep him from sharing his sweet talents with our eager ears.

Pete and Jimi. Nearly opposite on the musical scale. But--because of the filters--they do not complement each other: Pete is not the gin to Jimi's tonic. He is the diminished 4th. In the filtered world, Pete could use a whole lot of Jimi. But, tragically, Jimi could probably use a little dash of Pete. The balls to burn. The premonition to proselytize. The care to share unaware.

What if there were no filters? No editors? No critics? What would the world be like? "Fuck the torpedoes!".  There are no absolute rules(boring!).  Criticism always reflects zeitgeist. A filter in one generation is irrelevant in the next.  Meanwhile, art transcends. A person in 2008 can appreciate even caveman art.  

In a world without filters, all people would be equally bad, but also equally unable to know what "bad" is. There would be no more ridicule, no more embarrasment, no more shame. Only joyous free-form self expression. Beautiful mass cacophany. Eden? Maybe.

But then I listen to a 70's era Stevie Wonder album, a product of the filters. And it sounds so beautiful. I could not give up Stevie. I'll keep the filters, thanks.

I shouldn't even be here

I know. I know. I got that brain infection that almost killed me. But then I lived for some reason. Doctors puzzled over my recovery, scratching their heads as they looked at their clipboards. The scythe was held back. Fate had dropped me some "bonus time". And I appreciate it. Knowing that I "shouldn't be here" gives me a base from which I can endure tremendous setbacks. It doesn't make the pain of losing important people in my life inconsequential. I still miss them terribly, and I weep for them often. But, the "bonus time" comcept helps me realize what a singular privilege it is to be here, breathing, seeing, turning my head to the left, drinking a glass of water, thinking about the cool touch of the glass, and so on.

But even before that, even when I was a kid, I didn't feel comfortable in my skin. I have always felt--and I still feel--like I am witnessing my existence as a separate observer. Like an unwitting buddhist gone too far. I believe I have a detached soul. And tragically, the fact that it's detached extinguishes any volition that I might otherwise have to re-attach it.

This probably sounds bad, but it could be worse. My soul is detached, but not empty. I have a great spirit of creativity, and some sense of personal morality. It's just hard for me to reconcile or process feelings.

how geeks get their jollies

Sometimes when programming,  I like to write a whole shitload of code without testing the individual parts.  Then I flip the switch, and see if it works.  Usually it doesn't.  I almost always forget to do at least one thing.  

Oh!  But it is such a rush when it does work!  Puts you on top of the world...it does.

Sad Songs

I love sad songs.  Sometimes I put one on "repeat" in the itunes queue and listen to the same song all day.  It's a comfortable place to be...like a cozy cottage.  With no windows.  Also it's a great excuse to be a sloth. :)

I don't like stress and anger.  They are a two headed monster that tries to eat itself.  I try to avoid both.  And happiness always seems to leave me with a hangover.  I would say that on my Feel-o-Meter, "peaceful" ranks first and "engaged" is a close second.  But "sad" is third, and not that far behind.

My top 5 sad songs (no particular order):

•  Somebody that I Used to Know by Elliot Smith
  
•  When We First Met by VAST
  
•  Go or Go Ahead by Rufus Wainwright
  
•  Undertaker by M. Ward
  
•  Crystal Clear by Richard Davies
  

adobe is evil.

I'm not one to rant about software companies.  

I'm sure the "big guys" don't always play fair, but--as long as I can get my work done unfettered--I don't care who owns what or how or when.  This exception was broken last week.  I became extremely frustrated with Adobe.  

"Yeah Sure.  Adobe.  I know them.  They make those documents.  On the internet.  That's it."  you respond.

There is nothing inherently "superior" about the pdf format.  It is not as fast or flexible as HTML, nor as easily editable as DOC or XLS.  It is just an accepted standard.  Free & Easy to view.  Nary impossible to develop with, without putting down a large chunk of change.  You cannot believe to what lengths that Adobe has gone to to prevent you from doing a simple task (like batch printing) for free.  

  

And don't get me started about Adobe Flash.  

The Flash YouTube viewer is one thing, but Flash does not--I repeat--DOES NOT cut the mustard for enterprise development. (Although I must admit that Oracle's newly revamped "Metalink" Customer Support website looks pretty cool in Flash)

music, money, and madness

I see my music as a precious gift. I'm lucky to have it. I never accept money for writing or recording  a song. I've done so a only once: I composed a soundtrack for a student film. I felt competely repulsed by the exchange of money for the cassette tape. Something seemed just wrong. I write music because I love to do it. I don't knock those who disagree, but nothing is sadder than imagining myself a "professional" composer. A "professional" anything for that matter.

I despise money.

I earn more now than I ever have. Yet I am poorer than I have ever been.

The more I earn, the more that is taken from me...taxes, child support, Machiavellian ex-wives, plumbing misfortunes, doctors, courts, lawyers, what have you. I'm caught in a vicious cycle:

1. the more money I make, the more other people take it
   
2. the more people take it, the madder I get
   
3. the madder I get, the more evidence people have that I'm crazy/unstable
   
4. the more I'm viewed as crazy/unstable, the more money people want (and get) to "correct" my behavior
   
5. repeat from step 2 until mental breakdown, or death

I want to throw in the towel, quit work, move far away, and start over. But if I do, I will end up in the ol' hoosegow. (Dads who don't pay enough child support spend extended periods plus all weekends in jail.

So, I'm trapped. I'm poor and trapped.  Sorry readers.  No hollywood ending this time.

"walk the plank, matey!"

Why would you ever want your "matey" (a friend, presumably) to "walk the plank"?

Death by sharks, assuredly.

faith & hope

Lately, the terms faith & hope have been used frequently in cultural discourse. In the recent POTUS election, we had a two candidates that--it could be argued (suspend your disbelief for a minute, readers!)--represented each of these ideas: 

The "harbinger of hope" (the young black guy) 

    vs

The "foot-soldier of faith" (the old white guy). 

As is usual, they had few differences about issues, and it came down to congeneality and personality.

Likewise, faith & hope are nearly the same.  Both assume better things to come. The distinction is that faith relies on something else, where hope relies on nothing at all.

Hope is clean and unfettered. Hope is an attitude. Positivity. Once it's there, hope is "self sustaining". It relies on nothing. It can even be created out of nothingness.  But doesn't have to be.  In fact,most  people the world over find hope in their faith.

Now faith is another matter. I consider most discussions of faith to be holdovers from antiquated, dysfunctional and dying traditions. But there is a visceral faith, that is deeper, dirtier and more complicated. The ultimate purpose of that visceral faith is to serve hope. In a way, faith--with all its blemishes--becomes the "mother of hope".

iTunes ratings

I rate songs on iTunes all the time.

If I like a song I give it a *** .

If I really really like a song, it gets a ****.

Rarely do I go to the ***** level: Just a few, which I regard as life-changing, earth-shattering classics achieve 5 star status. If I'm in a certain lucid state (a "good" mood), I tend to rate songs better. Later, if the itunes randomizer revisits the song, my mood at the time can change the rating.

But really, what are the * and ** star ratings for? In the unlikely event that I'm underwhelmed by a song, I just uncheck the box next to the name, ensuring it doesn't get played again.

Rarely do I hate a song so much as to give it a single * (they're just "songs" people! no need to get that emotional), but if I did decide to hate a song, just seeing its title would cause me distress, and I would just delete it from itunes.

What a useless waste of time. Really. Because if you get a new computer, you have to start over...it forgets your ratings because they are not embedded in the mp3's themselves. Oh sure, there's probably some geeky way to overcome this shortcoming (copy the itunes db file or some such lark, but who has the time? Please.

I understand why the esteemed viceroys at Apple decided to do it that way. If you link rating directly to the mp3, and then somebody copies the mp3, your rating goes along with it, thus polluting the new listeners' opinion. I imagine--in Apple's view--linking ratings to mp3's would be a form of unspoken paternalism....the kind that editorial boards yield to during an election year.

But, officially speaking, WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE COPYING MP3'S IN THE FIRST PLACE. So, why get hung up about purity?

Meh.